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Bipolar In Me

by Travis Balitz

First of all I want to commemorate myself for sticking to the plan and getting this artwork done.  This airbrush painting has been very very taxing on my body and the truth is I never enjoyed facing it, nor exposing it, nor dealing with it --- normally I do what the fuck I want when I want and leave it at that.  It is true, I have bipolar disorder type 2 but I never enjoyed talking about it, facing the problem, nor enjoyed dealing with the regulation of medications and my mental history.  I had about 22 different types of medications in my body, various antidepressants, anti-psychotics, a few anti-anxieties and the likes with poor results.  But I felt if I finished this artwork in spite how sensitive I was to the pains of this work, I thought I would help draw my anxieties to a close with a full disclosure of my "weak" self in an artwork.  From the start I took it serious, even brought a chain saw in my house to get my family to back off so I could focus on this.  Yep, I am still that kind of crazy.  But I don't think that has changed at all.  Anyways, perhaps people out there may have had a history or problems with jobs, dealing with family, meds, homelessness, ect.  This could pertains to you to and perhaps that's what I wanted to get out of it the emotions, the physical sense of what happens in the mind of someone that experiences such crisises.  Not necessarily the bad stuff comes out of this, but the good stuff like with the mania as well.  Perhaps many of you found disclosure with therapy and medications, and that is great.  

Anyways, cheers,

Travis  

Below I includes some facts about bipolar disorder.  People hate negative shit, well at least I do, but I felt this was important.  Even though bipolar disorder only affects 2.6 % of the population, it can be very deadly illness.  At least to me it was.

PLEASE READ.  I DID NOT SPEND MY NIGHT PULLING FACTS FROM MY ASS.  THESE ARE SOME SERIOUS ISSUES THAT STATE THE HARD COLD FACTS OF MENTAL ILLNESS, BIPOLAR DISORDER, & HOMELESSNESS.  Most people can whisk away at their own family life, like me I am fortunate to have caretakers, but I wholeheartly believe that the airbrush drawing I did, is a solid not creepy representation of the despair of the realities of life.  

I am appreciative of the fact that I have a home, not that I never had a consideration of being homeless, which I have but << 875,000 PEOPLE >> with mental illnesses are homeless.  THAT IS A LARGE NUMBER.  And that is who I dedicated this portrait to but also the cold hard facts of mental illnesses as I stated earlier.

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Facts on bipolar disorder (retrieved from www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageS…)

Bipolar disorder affects approximately 5.7 million adult Americans, or about 2.6% of the U.S. population age 18 and older every year (National Institute of Mental Health).
More than TWO-THIRDS of people with bipolar disorder have AT LEAST ONE close relative with the illness or with unipolar major depression, indicating that the disease has a heritable component (National Institute of Mental Health).
Bipolar disorder is the SIXTH leading cause of DISABILITY in the world. (World Health Organization)
As many as ONE IN FIVE patients with bipolar disorder COMPLETES SUICIDE. (National Institute of Mental Health)
Success rates of 70 to 85% were once expected with lithium for the acute phase treatment of mania, however, lithium response rates of only 40 to 50% are now commonplace. (Surgeon General Report for Mental Health)
Nearly 9 out of 10 consumers with bipolar disorder are satisfied with their current medication(s), although side effects remain a problem. (DBSA, 1999)
Consumers who report high levels of satisfaction with their treatment and treatment provider have a much more positive outlook about their illness and their ability to cope with it. (DBSA, 1999)
An estimate of the total cost of bipolar disorder made more than a decade ago was as high as 45 billion dollars per year (www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16…).

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Facts on Homelessness related to Mental Illness

As many as 3.5 million people experience homelessness in a given year, lived in poverty or 1% of the entire U.S. population (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration).
875,000 people are homeless due to mental illness such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

Approximately 16% of the single adult homeless population suffers from some form of severe and persistent mental illness (U.S. Conference of Mayors, 2005).
20 to 25% of the homeless population in the United States suffers from some form of severe mental illness (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration).
For homeless families, mental illness was mentioned by 12% of cities as one of the top 3 causes of homelessness (National Coalition for the Homeless, July 2009)

Serious mental illnesses disrupt people's ability to carry out essential aspects of daily life, such as self care and household management. Mental illnesses may also prevent people from forming and maintaining stable relationships or cause people to misinterpret others' guidance and react irrationally. This often results in pushing away caregivers, family, and friends who may be the force keeping that person from becoming homeless. As a result of these factors and the stresses of living with a mental disorder, people with mentally illnesses are much more likely to become homeless than the general population (Library Index, 2009).

A study of people with serious mental illnesses seen by California's public mental health system found that 15% were homeless at least once in a one-year period (Folsom
et al., 2005).

Patients with SCHIZOPHRENIA AND BIPOLAR DISORDER are particularly vulnerable.

=======================================

Support groups

Depression & Bipolar Support Alliance
www.dbsalliance.org/

National Alliance On Mental Illness
www.nami.org/

Emotions Anonymous
www.emotionsanonymous.org/

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WATCH TIME LAPSED VIDEO BELOW:
[under construction]

VIEW ARTWORK HERE:
[under construction]

VIEW PHOTOSHOOT OF ARTWORK HERE:
[under construction]

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Media: Createx Wicked Color Paint
Tools: Iwata Kustom Micron CM-C .23 mm Airbrush, Iwata HP-C .3 mm Airbrush, 0.5 mm Mechanical Pencil, Eraser, Painters Tape, Texturizers

Canvas Material: GALLERYWRAP Artist Canvas
Canvas Size: 24'' x 36''

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My YouTube Page:
www.youtube.com/theairbrushadd…

My Deviant Art Page:
manhopark.deviantart.com

The Artwork Addicts Facebook Page:
www.facebook.com/TheArtworkAdd…

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Song Title: [Under Construction]
Music Composed by [Under Construction]

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A once aspiring songwriter/musician, Travis Balitz, has transitioned himself into Airbrush Art, and has formed the company "The Airbrush Addict." Watch him as he continues to display awesome artwork on various mediums including canvases, automotive surfaces, helmets, bicycles, skateboards, and the like!

If you are are interested in airbrush services, requests and or portraits, feel free leave a message via Deviantart, YouTube or Email. To request rates, terms, conditions, and to discuss business/freelancing opportunities, please contact us by email at theartworkaddicts (at) gmail [dot] com *Only serious, business-related inquiries will be read and answered. Please replace the space and brackets with an "@". This has been done to avoid spam.

Copyright 2013 Travis Balitz The Airbrush Addict. All Rights Reserved.
The pain of sadness

What do I do to erase this pain?
Where is your touch and taste, or your last breath of air?
How do you find this peace when you don't know what you are looking for?
Where do you find a place that consoles your soul, that eases the emptiness and dries your tears?
Does a place exist or will I always run away
Who am I and why am I here anyways?
I just want to sleep everyday knowing that I am okay, knowing I will not awake in fear, knowing I will no longer be empty
I once loved you so why can't I find that peace anymore
The headache of reality is something I can't fight no more
I am not at ease, just too tense, and bedridden to misery
I want love, what happened, why does it end up being a dying pleasure
Why do the things I enjoy, I no longer enjoy
The pain of sadness
Dear World,

Ow man... what a painful fucking dream... So it started with me in absolute misery... So I ended up outside to the neighbors banging on something... then I went to turn into the house and all of a sudden a Bright Hot Air Balloon crashed into the north side of the house... In that balloon out popped some old lady and some tall attractive brown haired guy. He said something about a ho
t balloon fair.

But I ended up back inside. All of a sudden I ended up laying flat on my back on some blankets on the computer bench in the dark. I think the place was dark. Then all of a sudden I ended up punching like the C4 and E4 on the piano, and the tears started rolling down my eyes. And I was mute. But everytime I punched the keys it felt like a sword was aiming straight into my heart. I did that several times and tears quietly but surely ran down my face... My dad came down to wipe away my tears and I slowly sat passing away but then I woke up feeling WOW WHAT A PAINFUL FUCKING DREAM... but the interpretation is very very vague.

1. I made a choice to not take a hot air balloon with some hot brown haired model guy (trust me I ain't fucking gay, but some reason he was in there with some old lady) and I chose to leave to go inside.

2. There is a vague representation on my choices in life. There was no recollection of music composition - BUT that interpretation of piano tuning. There was a period in my life in which piano tuning was very very hard on my eyes, so hard I'd be throwing sensory overload issues.

So what does this mean:

A. I have quit music, so thus i suffer a torturous dream. Though composing music was not suggested, I quit composing music, to avoid the insane itchiness as result of this. It could mean I am in great pain and should continue to compose music to avoid the pain.
B. I should continue to piano tune, though the possibility of doing it is causing great suffering, cause of the insomnia making it an unrealistic career? There was a period of time in which making music was so hard on my eyes it was a slight torture. This is represented by the tears OR
C. I should continue to piano tune, because if I don't then I am going to end up on my death bed
D. No Fitness, OR Airbrushing Or OTHER JOB was in there, so I am mourning on quitting my music endeavors. If I hold off a little longer, and quit music all together, Id may have a chance to stabilize myself.
I am now asking for airbrush portraiture request!.  You can request anything on any various medium of your choice.  The medium, other than canvases, and maybe skateboard blanks, will require an additional charge, in addition to the portraiture design.  There is also some extra charges for the paint required to be used.  I will work on many mediums including canvases, skateboard blanks, surfboard blanks, motorcycle & other vehicular surfaces, as well as helmet and assorted materials.

I charge roughly labor (8.00 USD) + materials fees + shipping fees if necessary.

Not only am I good at what I do, I enjoy doing it.  

Travis Balitz The Airbrush Addict
  • Listening to: Your Hot Mom
  • Reading: Your Hot Mom
  • Watching: Your Hot Mom
  • Playing: With Your Hot Mom
  • Eating: Out Your Hot Mom
  • Drinking: From Your Hot Mom
A once aspiring songwriter/musician, Travis Balitz, has transitioned himself into Airbrush Art, and has formed the company "The Airbrush Addict."  Watch him as he continues to churn out awesome artwork on various mediums including canvases, automotive surfaces, helmets, bicycles, skateboards, and the like!

Cheers,

Travis Balitz
Revival Entertainment Association Legacy Group or R.E.A.L G was formed by 2 aspiring music producers / entertainment aficionados TraVisT and KyoTicK. R.E.A.L G offers Song Writing, Sound Engineer and Sound Production Services as well as providing its fans with Comedy and Music Videos.

www.youtube.com/REALGroupStati…
  • Listening to: Final Fantasy Piano Collections
  • Reading: GameMusic.com
  • Playing: Final Fantasy Piano Collections
End of Fantasy, New Beginning

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tbAbs…

I would like to dedicate this piece to Wynn (ComposerKuandohan) and Hill (ComposerSyterious) Smith. They have been the few people who has inspired me to continue to compose music. The Smith's have never given up their dedication for their music and has largely inspired me to continue. Wynn has especially kept a keen eye on my music. Thanks.

Wow! I can finally say that I have composed a masterpiece. This has to be a piece that is one of the most technically advanced (although repetitive), and moving pieces that I have heard since I have composed the A.L.P.H.A theme way back in 2009.

At first, I had greater intentions of composing an epic piece, largely inspired by Kickass The Score. If you get a chance to listen to it I highly recommend it. It is a score composed of repetitive but epic proportions. You will notice that this piece is composed in D minor, and utilizes the same chord progression throughout the entire track. D, Bb, F, and C or Root, 5th, 3rd, 4th. Watch this example here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQUc4v... .

I have also written this piece in D minor. Although it turned out to be not so epic, it is quite a moving piece. I am quite happy with the results. When I came out with the melody I knew it was going to be something nevertheless. I thought it would also be a great piano piece. My sister thought it had a similar melody to Yiruma. I changed things up after that of course cause I did not want to copy his melody.

I start school this Monday. But I hope to continue composing throughout my lifetime. I am getting quite motivated to continue to do this and it is my passion. I might not be the greatest composer but I know that there are people who still listen to my music.

Also, when I finished this piece I am extremely looking forward for this piece into an actual video game. I can imagine it as an ending theme to an epic game as strolling credits. I have also considered it a new graduation theme instead of the Pomp and Circumstance March. Either way I am very proud of this piece, so I hope you enjoy. Let me know if you would like to utilize this piece in a game.
  • Listening to: Final Fantasy Piano Collections
  • Reading: GameMusic.com
  • Playing: Final Fantasy Piano Collections
Hello folks!  My most recent endeavor has been composition.  Please check out my page at www.youtube.com/manhopark
  • Listening to: Final Fantasy Piano Collections
  • Reading: GameMusic.com
  • Playing: Final Fantasy Piano Collections
This video portrays a mach trial of how my composition might be implemented into a Video Game or Theatrical Scene.

This theme is largely inspired by Harry Gregson-Williams.  He has a list of noteable works especially taking part of composing the music for the  Metal Gear Solid Series which this piece is largely influenced by.

Other Characteristics of Harry Gregson-Williams notations:

+Presents a recurring theme in different Key Signatures
+Utilizes a orchestrial, and sythesized tones.
+Presents a very catchy melody with a subdued harmony.
+Utilizes empty space for ambient and collective qualities


So without further adue I spent 2 days working on the melody.  Coming up with one that entices and captures the heart of the audience out of the 5 days it took to reach the point where I am at.

The video also portrays a compilation of previous game projects that were underwraps before I dropped out of game design.

That sounds bad, but the qualities I am looking for in myself is as a composer rather than a game designer.  Please feel free to critique the piece.

The piece is midi sythesized.  I utilized 19 different instruments to create this masterpiece.

I am starting to build a repitoire of compositions, please feel free to take a gander at my playlist.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xs7wzL…
  • Listening to: Final Fantasy Piano Collections
  • Reading: GameMusic.com
  • Playing: Final Fantasy Piano Collections
Greetings.  It has been a while since I have posted anything new, however I thought I update you with what is going on.  I have decided to strongly engage myself with music composition.  For other thoughts please refer to my latest works.

Join the Parade

www.youtube.com/watch?v=JS24ax…

Battle Royale

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvkqDe…
  • Listening to: Final Fantasy Piano Collections
  • Reading: GameMusic.com
  • Playing: Final Fantasy Piano Collections
Greetings.  It has been a while since I have posted anything new, however I thought I update you with what is going on.  I have decided to strongly engage myself with music composition.  For other thoughts please refer to my latest works.

Join the Parade

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Battle Royale

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="www.youtube.com/v/ZvkqDeiXtj4&…"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="www.youtube.com/v/ZvkqDeiXtj4&…" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
  • Listening to: Final Fantasy Piano Collections
  • Reading: GameMusic.com
  • Playing: Final Fantasy Piano Collections
I am the mockery of His doings.
  • Listening to: Final Fantasy Piano Collections
  • Reading: GameMusic.com
  • Playing: Final Fantasy Piano Collections
Hello Folks, I am sure there are many game dev out there who don't have a lot of good resources for game dev, art, programming, level design-- AND SO MUCH MORE!  Well, I have taken several game dev courses and I am currently selling them on my Ebay account.

They are literally half price-- or even more --- some have NOT been used at all!  They are well detailed... and structured very proficiently. For those who want to get your hands on them -- just visit my ebay here!

Oh yeah these are in EXCELLENT CONDITION - and I PROVIDE AN EXCELLENT SERVICE -- ONCE BID GOES-- THE SHIPMENT GOES AS SOON AS POSSIBLE... PLEASE DO NOT WAIT

BIDS CLOSING SOON!

Look me up Man_Ho_Park! on ebay

[url]

shop.ebay.com/merchant/man_ho_…

[/url]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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[+] The Basics of Drawing - $15.00 - EXCELLENT BOOK]
[+] How Computers Work - $10.00
[+] Photoshop Cs for Windows and Macintosh - $1.99
[+] Game Development Essentials by Jeannie Novak (2007) - $18.00
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[+] Game Level Design by Ed Byrne (2005) - $23.00 [NEW! NEVER OPENED]
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[+] 3D Game Textures - $33.00 [NEW! NEVER OPENED]
[+] Mastering Unreal Technology - $19.51 [MINT CONDITION]
[+] Unreal Tournament 2004 for Windows - $5.49 [SEAL NOT BROKEN - EDITOR]
[+] 3ds Max 2008 Bible - $19.99 [MINT CONDITION]
[+] Drawing for Older Children and Teens - $2.50 [Excellent Drawing book]
[+] Microsoft Visual C# 2005 Express Edition Programming - $0.97 [LOW PRICE]
[+] Adobe Photoshop CS3 Extended - $200.00 [compared to 1k. GOOD DEAL]
[+] Graphic Design Solutions - $30.00 - [EXCELLENT GD BOOK!]
  • Listening to: Final Fantasy Piano Collections
  • Reading: GameMusic.com
  • Playing: Final Fantasy Piano Collections
After dropping out of school, I knew I had to get back to piano, and this is what I came up with. Long story short, I could only play one piece from beginning to end, Fisherman's Horizon with the sheets at hand and after a month of practice I memorized 8 Final Fantasy Piano Collection Pieces total.

Song List
1. Final Fantasy VII Main Theme
2. You're Not Alone!
3. Eyes On Me
4. Final Battle
5. Besaid Island
6. Eternal Harvest
7. Fisherman's Horizon
8. Those Who Fight (Fighting Song)
Encore - Because I'm A Girl

* = Represents current recordings.

Note: This was treated as a concert, so there will be mistakes because I went for a straight run through performance.

It is a free concert. So there are several reasons why my effort did not go as well.

1. Piano Touch was different.
2. Practiced briefly
3. Lighting was poor in the room.
4. Studio was 40 minutes away.
5. I knew I was playing copywriter material, so I knew this placement was best for the internet.

If you still do not like the performance in anyway, then obviously you'd probably come to the wrong channel.
  • Listening to: Final Fantasy Piano Collections
  • Reading: GameMusic.com
  • Playing: Final Fantasy Piano Collections
So, first of all I took a Career Assessment test and a Myers-Briggs type indicator at a college I use to go to.  At first my brother pestered me to take this, he insisted it was going to help me out with some solutions when it comes to my career. And luckily I listened.

Prior to this, after I dropped school and my ego shot, I personally just wanted to just find a decent paying job without a degree, but that pretty much pissed off my mom and dad... just great.  Hah!

Dad said, "DO YOU WANT TO WORK 60 HOURS A WEEK, FOR 10$ AN HOUR."  HE SAID, "YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DO WITH THEIR LIVES? THEY JUST GO TO THE BAR AND DRINK ALL DAY AFTER WORK. KNOW WHY? BECAUSE THEY ARE DUMB! AND DO DRUGS!  OKAY HERE'S YOUR JOB, GO GET ME A BEER"

Okay dad, maybe I am stupid, so I might as well find a stupid job that pays me more than than irrigation or landscaping. Or do I?  No idea you make that decision for me.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is where it stands.  Yes, I have visited graphic design houses.  Yes, I've been back to playing piano.  Yes I've been back to running - but I knew I still questioned myself about a degree in either category, regardless, so what else is left?

Well, I turned to the results.

I always knew I was an ISTJ.  In fact, those were the same results I figured out before I was given my personality results.

"Quiet, serious, earn success by thoroughness, and dependability,  Practical, matter-of-fact, realistic, and responsible.  Decide logically what should be done and work toward it steadily, regardless of distractions.  Take pleasure in making everything orderly and organized - their work, their home, their life.  Value traditions and loyality."

For those that know me, I scored 100% on introversion 21/21, so that explains my "cave like" tendencies.

Anyways, back to the job report.

I scored highest on the Computer Graphic Design, Information Technology, and Behavioral Sciences in that order.

Number 1, I know that Graphic Design does favor my interest, but ironically it does not favor my personality.  

For instance, here's an excerpt. "Individuals who fall into this category are distinguished by their interests in working in creative, aesthetic environments that are relatively unstructured and allow for artistic freedom"

I definitely had to take that into thought, and it made me even question my interests. After consistently unable to make a decisive action upon my behalf, I finally chose to eliminate graphic design from my list, in spite all of the work that I put into developing a consistent archival recap.

This time around I want my personality to nurture my career rather than the other way around.  This will defeat the purpose as a graphic designer.

The next job priority happens to be information technology,  yes, it looks fine and dandy but in GD I knew I wasn't a programmer.  I am not as intuitive and it takes intuition to be successful I believe, especially in that field.  So I cut that out.

That leaves me with behavioral science.  Excerpt "They enjoy math and science, like analyzing data, and like working independently.  Individuals in this category solve problems by thinking and  value logic, critical analysis, the creative process, science, intellectual freedom and precision."

So is that me?  Maybe so, but now it is to late to get a degree in Psychology for instance, especially at UWRF, and I do not want to wait for spring.  I still need to be in school.

So I thought, what careers are most ISTJ's occupied in?

Business of course - that was the top category most ISTJS fall into, so I shall logically do the same.  Never in my life have I ever spent a huge interest in business - but dammit if I just give myself a degree and leave it at that I'd make the world happy.

So how much effort would I put into this degree? Around 75%.

Why?  This way, I won't end up like my  prior attitude with Game Design, going into it knowing for sure that Game Design was 100% for me, only realizing  later that I wanted to get out of it 100%!

At least I would have that extra 25% not going to waste if I realize its not for me.  This would leave room for majoring in psychology and minoring in business.  You see I got it all planned out again.  

All it took was a little nap, a hell of a lot of thinking, and I am set again, at least for the time being.

After reviewing myself, I realized this.  All this time I've been following my interest that heavily imposed onto the artistic, and creative structures.  Maybe its about time I follow my logic side, and hint that my personality is not so creative as I thought, I just happened to be attracted to it if that make sense, art and music.  I finally believe I've been nurturing the wrong portion of my personality, and I am going to try the logic side for now on see to see if that makes me feel any better.

And if not, if I see failure beyond getting a degree in business and psychology, I am going to follow exactly what my parents told me not to, to do the stupid thing, and do what the hell what my heart is telling me, just find myself a decent paying job.

I am absolutely tired of this circle, when will it ever be a line?

Oh the side note, the facts says something about the Playing section of an ISTJ
"Too busy to date" - I found a good excuse.  "I am not lazy, I am just an ISTJ!"

"It is sadly true that many with your rock solid, super stable, super dependable personality tend to select those super unstable, super undependable mates"

Uh oh, so I guess my future is in for a hell of a lot of drama.

But thats okay, I've already decided that I am going to listen to the facts of an ISTJ to guide the rest of my life, that way I wouldn't have to make any dramatic decisions.

Without further ado, for those that want to be my friend, you first have to take a Myers Briggs test so I can test your results.  Else I will not be your friend.

Hah Just kidding.  I won't go that far, maybe when I am older and a little more crazier.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Classes I would like to start out with?

Statistics
Political Science
Abnormal Psychology
Principles of Accounting
Introduction to business
  • Listening to: My thoughts
  • Reading: My thoughts
  • Watching: My thoughts
  • Playing: My thoughts
  • Eating: My thoughts
  • Drinking: My thoughts
"When a job defines you, you don't define yourself"

After thinking aimlessly about where my future is at, I realize that this Deviant Art page will not be part of it to the extent that it was in the past.  Yes, that doesn't mean I am gone, I am just going back to Youtube for awhile.  I need to play some Final Fantasy Pieces again.  Thats all I want to do.

This is where I am at.  I want to work in a music store, be the man on the sidelines, but still be with the music.

Pretty simple right?  Yes, but my parents are making it a lot more complicated. They want me to be more, something I see I am not.  They see me with a degree, but I see endless circles.

The whole idea of aiming for a degree has left me quite unhappy, I realized.  All I want to do is be able to play piano again, I really don't care what I do, as long as I am able to play.

The truth is, I don't see myself being dollar rich, but at least I will see myself emotionally rich.

So, you ask, Travis what in the world you doing in a music store? Aren't you in game dev? Actually I dropped, and thinking about a graphic design degree. You see, I have a strong tendency to forget a lot, and the further I got into school the more noticeable it was getting. I mean I can't even find my way around without having to remind myself where I parked my car. I don't need this stress. It's stupid stuff like this because I forget things. And this problem wasn't helping me along in school either.

So, is that all? Nope. The number one reason why I am playing, and recording again is because I am at a crisis.

Right now my brain and my heart are functioning on 2 different levels now. A. Listen to parents, get a degree, and a stable well paying job. B. Do what your heart is telling you.

Ever since I got further along in school, I knew that damn piano at home, kept me from moving forward. I honestly wish I never played the damn thing. I mean I am sure I got plenty on my plate when it comes to schooling. Look at all that work you put in school Trav,I should already be on my 4th year in school - ready for a life time career. So screw the piano right?

No. The truth is that my heart is telling me to stick to piano.

BUT WHY TRAVIS WHY!

I can't compose. I can't perform. And I can't teach. It's absolutely ridiculous I know but I cannot accept the fact that I am going to lose it. I mean I hardly play now, but I know I will be unable to keep it up if I take my career too seriously. I already lost quite a bit of it, and it's pretty disappointing.

The one thing that I often got caught up with in school, is that I put so much effort into it, that I let it take over me, until I just became ultimately tired of it.  No, I cannot do that anymore, lets just keep things simple.

My parents are not too happy with me dropping school at all - they lose health insurance on me when I drop.

They think I want to go back and insist I just major in something, but I always go to school thinking I have something realizing later that I don't. So this cycle will always continue...

I feel that I belong with music. I mean, I definitely do not want to be in the spotlight, aiming for a music degree... maybe that's why I was very brutal on myself for constantly playing, because I was digging further into something I never intentionally wanted to do. How could you call this a musician? Well, I never said I was one; I am just a man who still wants to play.

I realized this... I just want to be on the sidelines. Maybe I can't live up to my potential, but being in a music store will always remind me, hey kid at least you tried. And I am pretty happy with that decision to make that my goal in life. It sounds like it will definitely beat any of those jobs I ever had in the past...

I just currently want to play. No matter how spoiled it sounds. It might not be a living, but I know I am living because I will have the time in the world to play.

I got to be happy with my job. And my job is to keep myself happy.
I just compiled my older works together.  Please feel free to take a look for those of you who are curious on where my ability has developed.  These are for aspiring artist to note that all of my recent works were based on improving an old set of skills
I am now accepting any request for a model which will be completed in 3Ds Max.  This may be a person, place or thing.  You may have dseigned a character and you would like it modeled by me.  This is totally acceptable, however, there is a few requirements.  I will probably get it completed within a week of request.

~ Reference Art must be large enough for appropriate detail.
~ You must include a front, left or right, and back reference of the image.
~ Example reference art could include drawings, or photographs.
~ Characters, Weaponry, Furniture are a few examples.

Right now I am currently going to model 3 simple characters I've completed in my animation class a year ago.

Next I will render Jessica Alba's Face in 3dsMax.  I want to be very intricate with this one so bump, displacement, specular and Fresnel maps will be intricately placed onto the model. This will be created as realistic as possible to my  best ability following a SOng Hye Kyo tutorial.

After that I will deviate up a model using another reference pic.  Here I will learn how to project a low poly cage onto a high poly mesh.  I will learn to place a normal map onto a character following a tutorial...

After that, who knows whats next.
Note: I just learned that selling fan art is illegal!  So I will be unable to sell prints.

COMMISSION

Anywho, on a side note, lately I’ve been running low on cash and I really need it to pay for gas which usually ends up being 40 dollars a week, or 2.   Depending on how much I drive, this is the amount I need just for driving per week alone.  I am sure I can get a job, but for now I prefer to tidy up my Photoshop skills and use my time for school aspirations.

Because of this choice, however, I still need cash flow.  So, I would like to send out prints of my latest work for a $10.00 (USD) fee.  It would be 8.5’’ by 11 ‘’ on glossy paper.  I will only accept American currency.  I prefer checks.

I will accept 10 commission fees at a time.  Once I receive 10 of them, I will immediately send you an email to ask for a payment fee.

I will send out all 10 of them in yellow envelopes to the following requests.  This will be sent out while you send me your payment.  Note that I would except to receive your payment within 3 days of the shipment process.

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If you are interested please email me at manhopark@hotmail.com.  I will put you on the waiting list.  In the email I will provide my address.  Listed below, I would like you to list the requirements below when you send me an email.

Title of the Artwork
Name:
Address:
Email Address:
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I am just about to hit 10,000 page views... Are you going to celebrate with me?

HURRAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!